Speaking in the Commons, the Prime Minister confirmed that the skipper of a cross Channel ferry had noticed a gunboat flying the Iranian flag lying around a couple of miles off Dover. The Admiralty had been asked to check up on this, but were unable to comply as all five of our seaworthy British ships were engaged elsewhere in the world. Later in the day, an elderly reconnaissance aircraft had been commissioned to investigate, the pilot reporting that, “It had certainly not been there last year.”

The Tory leader was very quick to get on his feet and wondered, though he did not wish to appear racist, exactly what this vessel was doing so many hundreds of miles from its home waters. President Bush had, after all, made it abundantly clear that only nations approved of by Washington were permitted to have atomic weapons and indulge in international manoeuvres.

Mr.Ming, speaking for the Lib-Dems, considered that there was a strong possibility that these ‘poor chaps’ were asylum seekers, and suggested that they might be invited to disembark and discuss their problems over a cup of tea at local party headquarters.
 
So, does this affair pose some threat to our islands? Apparently not because, some three hours later, it was announced in Teheran that all naval craft were being fitted with new and up-to-date navigation equipment. Phew! Could have been nasty!