Not so funny when you get your door kicked through to find out that these 'laws' are not being breached..

Labour is dreaming up 33 new crimes a month...

Labour has created 4,300 new crimes since taking power - including a ban on swimming in the wreck of the Titanic and on the sale of game birds shot on a Sunday.

Gordon Brown has been the worst offender in this unprecedented 'legislative splurge', with his Government creating new offences at the rate of 33 a month.

Under Tony Blair, Labour invented 27 new ways of criminalising the public every month.

One of Labour's laws makes it illegal to swim over the hull of the Titanic

The 'crimes' range from swimming in the hull of the Titanic without the permission of a Cabinet Minister to 'disturbing a pack of eggs' when instructed not to by an authorised officer.

In total, between 1997 and 2009, 4,289 new criminal offences were created - approximately one for every day ministers have been in office. It is twice the rate at which new crimes were created under the last Tory administration.

They include offences - such as carrying out a nuclear explosion - which could easily be covered by existing laws.

Others are simply bewildering, such as the ban on the sale of game birds shot on a Sunday-or Christmas Day.

This stems from the fact it is illegal, for ancient religious reasons, to shoot the birds on a Sunday - so the Government felt the need to also make it illegal to sell birds shot on a Sunday, to reinforce the point.

Liberal Democrat home office spokesman Chris Huhne, who uncovered the figures, will attack the Government's law-making frenzy in a speech tonight.

He will say: 'Over the past 12 years, this Labour Government has been suffering from the most acute and prolonged bout of legislative diarrhoea.

'We have had 69 Home Affairs Bills in 12 years, an average of almost six per year. This is a staggering-volume to have added to the statute books in such a short time, and this is just the two departments of the Home Office and the Justice Department.

'The "bill teams" in departments are possibly among the most productive parts of the public sector. Unfortunately, the product is in too many cases virtually worthless.'

Many of the new laws are backed by powers to enter people's home without a warrant to check they are not being breached.

Mr Huhne wrote to Justice Secretary Jack Straw urging him to repeal some of the laws.

But, in reference to the crime of 'disturbing a pack of eggs', Mr Straw said: 'Egg marketing inspectors must be able to ensure that eggs suspected of being marketed in contravention of EU regulations are not tampered with.'

He added: 'I am sorry that you regard these offences as unnecessary. In their different ways they are important pieces of legislation.